A wonderful post
by - Priyanka Singh....http://priyanca.blogspot.com
All my life in every relationship that I choose out of my own free will or out of compulsion, the underlying principle has been expectations.
Parents expect you to do well in life, nothing wrong....but they expect.
Teachers expect you to do well in studies, nothing wrong....but they expect.
Extended family expect you to support them, financially or emotionally....expectations again.
Boss expects you to perform and * exceed expectations*
Lovers expect love and commitment...isn't it natural?....but I will say even that is again expectation.
Friends expect love, support, understanding...
Here I would like to clarify that I differentiate between expectations and carrying out responsibilities ( more on this in other chapters)
Do I expect anything from anyone?
Very rarely
Do I get hurt if what I expect is not fulfilled by others?
No, never.
I find nothing wrong in expectations, but I can never understand or relate myself with the hurt that other people feel when someone else does not meet their expectations. At times, when I am hurting, I tell myself * Kid, take care* I don't wait anyone else to come and comfort me, I do it myself first.
Expectation for me are like a stone placed on a butterfly....not necessarily heavy one...but then butterfly is not meant to be under stone, likewise I find it terribly wrong of people to expect something, anything from others
The only one who by all the moral, social and economical principles is justify to expect anything from me is myself. I am comfortable and at peace with this, anything else makes my heart cringe, my body shiver and my mind crazy.
Your life is first and foremost yours. Let the greatest love of your life be self-love. The only way expectations are healthy when you do that yourself.
Again here I am not advising to consciously hurt anyone, I just wish to emphasis that one should take very good care of themselves first. Remember even in plane the flight attendant ask you to secure your safety first before helping other passengers..
Derive your life purpose from the things that will make you happy.
Derive your happiness from the things that you are at peace with.
Do things, take risk, be a fool.
Do not loose out or do things because somebody expects something from you.
You are not obliged for other people happiness
Never blame yourself for other people's hurt.
And never ever you allow butterfly to get crushed :)
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I agree with her views but sometimes I just feel selfish if I deattach myself from expections and I think its natural for we Indian's because we are being raised in such an envirnment where expections are already set right from your birth.
- Parik....
